Worst Days Ever

"Private Hey Yarl they deleted me has been gone for a while, and those who have looked for him do not come back.

Private Hey Yarl they deleted me has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.

Private Hey Yarl they deleted me was last seen aboard a small boat.

Private Hey Yarl they deleted me has been returned to the mainland by The Watcher.

Private Hey Yarl they deleted me was utterly defeated and rendered rather crispy when he decided to take on the Improbability Drive!"

I got killed at Stonehenge.

I got killed in the Joker's boat.

Then I killed myself by throwing an improbability bomb at the Improbability Drive.

And here I thought there was no way I couldn't get a DK today. XD

First Fight

Laboratory explosion's Hitpoints (Level 13): 42
YOUR Hitpoints: 187
You ramp up your awareness of your surroundings. You notice all the coins that other contestants have left lying beneath leaves, under logs, all over the area. You resolve to pick them up, just as soon as you've dispatched this foe...
Laboratory explosion is morbidly fixated on the grinning skull of your Zombie Donkey, and cannot attack nor defend as effectively!
Your Clan's Aura strengthens you!
Your armor hums to life in response to the battle!
Your Plasma Gun spits gobbets of superheated gas at your opponent!
Laboratory explosion can't stand the smell of your Monster Repellent Spray, and doesn't want to get too close!
You try to hit Laboratory explosion but are RIPOSTED for 29 points of damage!
You feel a shock course through your armor as it deflects 1 damage back to Laboratory explosion!
Your force generator is in full effect!
Laboratory explosion hits you for 273 points of damage!
You feel a shock course through your armor as it deflects 5 damage back to Laboratory explosion!


The force of the blow sends you reeling, and knocks 10955 Stamina points out of you!
You are headbutted by your own head and fall unconcious
While you lie broken and bruised on the ground, a pack of Thieving Midget Bastards stroll by and help themselves to all the Requistion tokens you have in your pockets!
10 % of your Experience Points are lost due to head injuries!
As you slip into unconsciousness, a pair of Retraining Personnel turn up, tutting and shaking their heads.

When you wake up, you find yourself on the Retraining Vessel, known locally as The FailBoat!